Making This Moment Count

"My name is Shirley Downie, and during the holiday season in 2008 my husband Russ was killed in a motorcycle accident. A month earlier, we were celebrating his 50th birthday in Las Vegas. Eighteen months later, I completed a hike to the top of Half Dome in Yosemite National Park - where Russ and I were married in 2003. It was during this trip that my best friend Liz, who had been my primary support system since my husband's death, suffered a freak slip-and-fall accident which contributed to her death three weeks later."

Click here to watch Shirley's story...

In the course of my work, I counsel many families in the weeks leading up to a loved one's funeral and even weeks after as the survivors try to navigate the multitude of details trying to close down the person's estate, getting their loved one's affairs in order, and even resolving their own emotional aftermath.

I think this is partly because I am a really good communicator - I know how to talk in such a way that resonates with my listener - and partly because I can empathize with most situations that involve death and dying. This ability to empathize provides the "silver lining" to my husband Russ dying, followed by Liz: I know exactly what the family is going through, because I've been there myself.

But I venture to say these same families would be surprised to hear me suggest that in my own personal view, my story doesn’t make me “special.” It makes me representative of a much bigger group of people in the global community whose lives have been forever changed through the death of a loved one. The tragedy is that most of those people, however, feel isolated by these experiences. My opportunity – my mission, if you will – is to take a different approach: Instead of allowing them to segregate us, these experiences are what serve to bring us together.

Rather than shy away from my experiences, I choose to embrace them.



I began this project shortly after my husband's death. As I have continued down this path, it has become evident that the issues and challenges surrounding "the death of loved ones and how grieving survivors continue on" are more universal than just my own experiences: I have discovered that this is a message that resonates with anyone who has lost a loved one. It also helps to increase the awareness of those who may not have personally experienced this kind of loss yet - but nevertheless seek to understand in the hopes of supporting grieving survivors, as well as helping prepare one's own family for these events which are destined to touch each of us at some point in our lives.

To bring this project to life, I need your help.

If you are able to donate despite these difficult economic times - you can donate here - God bless you! And if you can help spread the word, you do a meaningful thing... not just for me in this moment, but for all of those people who struggle with loss daily. For all of those people who carry around the heavy burden of fear; fear of the unknown. You are not alone.


Peace.